The first rule of a break-up! A quick guide to no contact!

“Our great war’s a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives.”

Tyler Durden

A quick search on the internet, TikTok, and youtube, you’ll see a vast amount of content creators promoting the use of the “No Contact Rule” however it is usually masked behind the clickbait titles like how to get your ex back in 30 days blah blah blah.

The no-contact rule is not a manipulation tool to make your ex miss having you around or to make them think of you. I think the proper definition of the no-contact rule is a self-care technique used to give yourself time and space away from your ex-partner so you can heal your emotional wounds.

Everyone has a different path to healing, ultimately going no-contact with your ex-partner can help to clear your thoughts of them, although it sounds like an easy thing to do, just don’t contact them but you have been in a relationship with this person for some time and you got used to talking to them regularly, now comes the challenge “what do I do now?”

For this post, I’m going to talk about no contact in a relationship where both parties lived in separate housing, the first thing I would get sorted is to gather up all their belongings and arrange for them to collect them with your belongings if you both have keys to each other houses then return them as well. The next stage is to go onto your phone/laptop, and block them on every social media platform and messaging platform that includes blocking their number on your phone.

What do I do now? I hear you cry out, the simple answer is to move on, the more complex answer is to heal, let go and move on, to fully heal from a break up you must ride out the emotional rollercoaster of rejection and emotional pain, let go out any ideas or thought you had of your ex and the future you both were going to experience together. Now is the time to start living your life as how you want it to be, you have been given an opportunity to reset everything and reinvent yourself completely.

However, if you are living together and your ex breaks up with you, this will be more difficult to manage a no-contact rule, it would be beneficial if you had some other place to stay, or if they do, you may need to contact each other solely on the basis of getting the house ie selling the property, etc. Although this will be a temporary situation for most people, the most difficult thing to do during this situation is to keep your emotions out of it and only discuss options to do with the house/apartment, you will need to employ a lot of your willpower not let the conversation flow into about being heartbroken or begging to sort out this relationship.

In my next post, I will go over the step to ensure you’re on the right path to recovery.

Thank you,

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